As a stalker, I know you once said you would prefer an old BMW than a new small hatchback. What do you love the most about BMW, and why wouldn't you get a new 1 series (e.g.)?

I've not driven a lot of cars so I'm very biased but I just enjoy driving mine so much that I don't think a modern car (which I have driven) would match up. I've driven our family car, a '02 530d estate, and although it's much faster it isn't the same as my '88 518i and isn't as enjoyable to drive. If I won the lottery I would buy a new 1 Series (the 1M coupe) but not before I'd bought an original M5, original M635CSI and probably a few other classics; the old ones come first.

The cheap way to reset BMW E28 service lights

Once every few months or so your car will turn on a little light telling you it needs attention. Sometimes it might tell you it really needs attention, like this:

BMW E28 All Service Lights

For some reason or another you may need to have these reset other than when the car is serviced. BMW often forgot to reset mine and we had to go back and ask them to do it, or you might take the car to an independent garage who either forget as well or don't have the tool to do it.

You could take it back to BMW or the garage that worked on the car and have them do it. You might be there a little while (I was sat waiting for 30 mins for them once). All they do is stick their little diagnostic computer tool thing into the connector port under the bonnet; they might even do it for free.

You could buy a tool yourself, if you can find one that is; it'd likely come from either America or Germany and probably won't be cheap.

Or, you can do what I did.

Get a paperclip, and bend it in half so it's in a V shape. Take the cap off the connector port and stick each end into ports 1 and 7; the numbers of the ports should be on the back of the cap.Turn the ignition to the second position, i.e. where the dashboard lights would usually come up. Then, wait for 3-4 seconds if you've got Oil Service up or 8-11 seconds if you've got Inspection up, and the lights should go off; you should turn the ignition off again as soon as it's done.

There we are, job done. You should have no orange messages and should have 5 green lights again. If the red service light came on you'll only have 4 greens; that's what always happened to mine even if BMW did it, I guess if it hits the red it forces you to have the next one sooner so only gives you four greens.

Anyway, might save you some time or money if you're in a similar position to me. Just don't blame me if it breaks something.

Saw a nice car and almost crashed


Was going to pick my sister up from her horse riding lesson, and was approaching a T-junction, I was going to be turning right. Approaching the corner, not yet stopped, I saw a nice car coming round from the right, a Lexus IS-F, they're quite rare and I'd never seen one before, and after it had gone past me I looked at it in my rear-view mirror. It then suddenly occurred to me that I was still moving along, towards the car in front that had stopped... quickly looked back at the road and slammed on my brakes, the engine stalled because I didn't dump the clutch, and managed to stop, without going into the car in front.

Note to self; make sure you've actually stopped before looking at a nice car coming the other way.

I like cars

Well, I do, and I couldn't think of a better title.

One day I got given a model car to play with, one of those ones that you pulled back, let go, and it'd shoot off. It was a yellow Lamborghini Diablo (I think), working scissor doors and everything, and my clearest memory of it was that the 'cockpit' was quite far forward, and I thought that this would mean it would oversteer going around a corner. Not the usual thing an 8 year old thinks when he's playing with a toy car but ever since then I was interested in cars. How they go, how they look, how they smell, how they work, all that. I like old cars and new cars, fast cars and slow cars. That Lambo was my first real memory of liking cars.

My favourite cars are either British, German, or Italian. The Italians make the exotic supercars that you dream about, the sort of thing you'd go for after a lottery win. The British generally make sports cars, most of them are very simple, but very fast (Lotus, Noble, Caterham), that sort of thing. They also make Aston Martins which are arguably the most desirable cars available. The Germans make more practical cars, executive saloons, and some nice sports cars. We've always had BMWs (and before you think we're rich bastards, they've not been brand new ones, apart from one bought in 1987). They're very good cars and I'll probably stick with them during my driving life. I love BMWs, especially older ones (~1983+), and you can pick up a beautiful classic BMW for less than a brand new small hatch-back. I know which one I'd rather have.

I'd been looking forward to driving for years... I can remember that every so often, usually on my birthday, my dad would say 'in 7 years you'll be able to drive', 'only 5 years until you can drive', and I was really looking forward to it. Then, I turned 17, got some L plates for my birthday, and had lessons. It was worth the wait, I passed my theory and practical test first time, and got a car soon after; it was great to be able to go and drive about after all those years.

Being in Norfolk, there's a lot of nice driving roads. There's nice long dual carriageways if you want a quick (or long) blast, fast open country-ish roads, some twisty, some straight, some quieter country roads, coastal drives, forestry drives, everything... you could spend days on end driving around all the different routes. We once went right along the coast, just for fish and chips, and it was a great drive, nice and quiet, fast roads, and nice scenery. Plus, there's plenty of country cafés and pubs, which means locally prepared meat, and local cider. Lovely, I love a nice steak and chips with a pint of local cider.

Give me an old BMW, a sunny weekend and a list of nice pubs and I'll be happy.

I'm officially a criminal


Got my penalty notice through the post the other day for my speeding. 3 points and a £60 fine. I don't give a shit about the fine, that's not an issue, it's the sodding points I don't want. My driving instructor and I sent a letter to them trying to get me off it, didn't seem to work. Proof the police have nothing better to do and that the system is ujutst. Now I'm gonna have to tell employers... ugh, what a pisser.

As the saying goes, shit happens, it's just a pain in the arse when it does.

Oh, and I don't even think a speeding conviction gives you a criminal record but I just liked the title.